my mom told me when i was sixteen dat as da years go by.. da circle of frens i haf will expand.. but those whom i call my best friends or close frens will slowly reduce in size.. even diminishing to zero at da very worse..
.. if onli i was prepared fer tonite..
at sixteen, i had 6 best friends.. we were da spice girls.. we were da revision-threesome..
at twenty-four, i haf 1.5 left outta da four, 1 outta da two..
at eighteen, i had 5 best friends.. dey were supposedly da "tall-lies" while i was da shorty..
at twenty-four, i haf 2.5 left outta da five..
at twenty, i had 3 best friends.. dey were da grpmates who rushed thru projs wif me..
at twenty-four, i haf 1 left outta da three..
at twenty-two, i had 8 close friends.. once again, we were grpmates who werked thru thick and thin..
at twenty-four, i haf 6 friends left outta da eight..
it is dis revelation dat is keeping me awake tonite.. cld it be dat i onli haf less den half of my paramount life-source left..? .. and im actually surviving.. rather well in fact..?
i haf been subconsciously bugged by an issue fer sometime oredi.. i haf not spoken to anione bout it as i guess i sldnt as well.. i dun quite understand da term of "best friends" when one doesnt seem to be truly interested in da other's life.. but perhaps found da juicy gossips more appealing.. hmm.. maybe da maintenance of da frenship is meant fer "rainy daes" when help is needed.. i can vaguely rem dat da term, "spare tyre" came up somewhere, sometime before..
some frens were commenting to me bout feeling like a stranger to a close fren.. i completely understand becoz i feel it tew.. u no longer noe dat same person who sat beside you in class fer da past five years, shared da same ice-cream sundae on a rainy dae, stayed up till da wee hrs of many nites juz sharing secret dreams and big goals in life..
argh.. i sld stop rambling on..
it is times of anguish like dis dat i try to smile hopefully at wad i rem fr a few years bk.. dat some frenships will last.. and dat they are worth every single ounce of strength in my body to fight fer.. now, if onli i can juz muster up a lil more positivity minus da cynical sarcasm..
shee once told me tearily dat her mom told her da same thingy as my mom did.. we both shuddered at da scary tot, but promised to remain da bestest of friends fereva.. it was along da lines of, "we are not just best friends.. but we are sistas.. so our relationship is fereva.."
i juz need to find da time to re-evaluate on which of da frenships are genuinely worth it.. and throw da rest of da meaningless ones awae..
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3 comments:
People move on in life, and it takes 2 to build a friendship. If 1 moves on 1 stays.. the pace in life we're movin makes it even harder to retain something. If you take something, u gotta leave something behind, i guess thats how the way it is due to our hectic lives. So its true in a way what auntie is tryin to say to uu. Know what or whose important to u n treasure em, u don't have to throw the rest away.. just leave it as it is ya =)
well, there's the possibility that you will find new good friends... like those who sit very near to you in the office wahahahah
all these seem way too familiar.. it's true that you should make an effort on nurturing those that are worth it, but i agree with adriell; you don't have to discard anyone. you may deem them meaningless, but you'll never know who will be reaching out to you when you most need help.
"making friends is easy, but keeping them is quite a challenge."
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